For years I have wanted to be a gardener.
Today I began my adventure of trying to plant a garden. I weeded, and weeded and weeded using just my flower gloved hands. I tried to retrieve some gardening tools. You may have heard that in fact. Around 12:45 today, did you perchance hear a loud shriek? You did?! Well that was me. You see I unlocked the shed and opened the doors to get my gardening tools when there to my surprise was a dead mouse set right before me. It's skinny little legs standing straight up in the air and its petrified tail pointing straight out as if it were the needle of a compass.
Upon setting eyes on the deceased creature I let out a blood curdling scream which scared "the whole life out of us". (Per my 7 year old son). "Why did you scream mummy? Why would you be so freaked out?" - "Because I'm a girl." I responded. "That's all the excuse I need." - "Well that sure explains it all right." (Sometimes my son sounds like he just stepped out of an episode of The Little Rascals.)
I decided as you might imagine that I really didn't need the tools. I could manage just fine using my hands!
Off to the store I will go tomorrow to buy some compost and soil laced with Miracle Grow as for this garden to succeed I will surely be needing a generous dose of heavenly intervention.
I have several things stacked against me in my quest for horticultural greatness.
1. I have no blessed idea what I am doing! I keep pestering my two gifted gardener friends for help and advice. They are quite patient and gracious with me as I ask them the same questions over and over again. Gardening is just not a natural gift for me. My mind is like a bucket with a giant whole in the bottom when it comes to retaining this information. I'm trying though - I'm trying!! At least, this is what my husband always tells me.
2. Hot sunny weather and I do not mix! I so wish I could be one of those 'outdoorsy' types. But alas, my fair English skin and my mother's constitution mean that I burn easily and can go from fine to debilitating heat-provoked migraine in 60 seconds flat! I can never be in direct sunlight, nor in heat about 82 degrees or higher for too long. This you can see is not conducive to gardening. Not to mention, in general, I have to live with people always making little comments about me 'not liking to be outside'. I get a little sensitive about it to be completely truthful. I always think those that make those comments are really thinking it has to do with me being fat - it doesn't! Even in my thinner days I could not deal with heat. Just how I'm made.
3. I never have enough time. Ugg... I hate saying that. Isn't that the lament of every American? None of us have enough time. We're all busy, straight-out, over-committed, spread-too-thin and whatever other phrase you'd prefer. But the fact is, gardening takes a time investment. But here's the thing. If I am willing to take the time to weed the garden, buy the seeds and plant the little suckers then I need to make the commitment to see it through, come what may. Have I commented yet on my past attempts? Not pretty!!
That's enough reasons for now - I'm sure further posts will bring my other gardening deficiencies to light.
Stay tuned for future posts about the Adventures of a Would-Be Gardener!
The Identity Crisis of My Life
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