Friday, March 19, 2010

Two Years

March 16th was the two year anniversary of my mum's death.  I can't believe it's already been two years!!  I continue to miss her every day, and there are times I almost feel... guilty for going on.  This may sound silly if you've never experienced this kind of loss.  It's like, you feel like every day you live you should some how be honoring their memory.
I'm in a season of transition in my life.  Any time I feel down about it (I HATE transition) I try to think about how these changes would in some ways make my mum so happy.  My mother ALWAYS fretted about money.  Not just for herself, but for her children.  Hopefully God will be showing me the perfect job He has for me that will work well with my family soon, and the additional finances would make my mum happy.  I try to think about that - hoping that would be honoring to her in some way.
I also feel that my mother's gift of love and affection has been passed on to my own family, and in that way too, her memory is honored.

Well, without further ado - below is the eulogy that my sister Kerry wrote for my mother's funeral.  It was so well done that I feel it's the best thing to post each year at this time.

Thank you God for the gift of my mum.  And mum, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our mother, like most mothers, was a very special person. She was warm and loving and funny. You often hear people say how those that have passed will leave a hole or a void. The absence of my mother will leave an abyss. Or at least, that’s how it feels.Our mother was a big presence in our lives. For us, she was truly the tie that binds. Over the past few days, I’ve found myself wondering how we will carry on without her. I know, of course, that we will, but the idea of it seemed inconceivable.But as I thought about having to face life without my mother, without my best friend, I realized how, because of her, we will certainly get through this terrible time together.My mother taught us many things, as most parents do. But three things we learned from her are perhaps the most important lessons for dealing with life.Naturally, she, along with our father’s help, taught us right from wrong. Through her example, we not only learned the typical rights and wrongs, but we learned the right way to be a good friend, the right way to care about others and the right way to treat the people that are important to you. And she taught us that it is right that family takes care of family. More than once my mother told me what a great comfort it was to her that if ever any of her children were in trouble or in need that we could turn to any of the other 4 and we would be a help and support one another.Another thing we learned from our mother was to love one another and to do so openly. More than a few people have commented over the years how affectionate my family is to one another. We always great each other with hugs and kisses and do the same again when we part. Well – ok – maybe Eddie and Mark don’t hug and kiss each other – but there is certainly brotherly affection. When we speak to one another on the phone, conversations almost always end with “I love you”, and “I love you too”. We tell our children and our nieces and nephews all the time how much we love them and how special they are to us. Something we learned from our mother.The last of the three important lessons learned from Mom, was to laugh at life – even if it’s at your own expense – which, in her case, it often was. Mom loved a good laugh. All of the Rockwood family loves a good laugh and we are never together that we don’t laugh a great deal. We learned not to take ourselves so seriously that we couldn't laugh at ourselves – something my mother excelled at. In fact, if she did something funny and there was no one to witness it, she would'nt keep her goofs to herself – she’d tell everybody, which is funny in itself.So, as I think of these things, I realize, though the void is sizable and though the coming weeks, months and even times throughout the years will find us mourning our dearly loved mother, we will as a family, get through it together.We will stand by one another. We will love one another. And we will laugh together. And in doing so, we will keep our mother’s spirit with us always.I hope that some of you will learn from my mother, especially to tell the people you love that you love them – and tell them often. Not because life is precarious and you never know how much time you will have together. Not even because it’s what people who love one another should do. Tell them simply because you DO love them.I know that we will pass these lessons on to our own children and grandchildren: To stand by your family and love and support them; To tell them often how much you love them and to laugh at life – even if it’s at your own expense. Oh – and to never, ever tell a child you have eyes in the back of your head.