Friday, February 27, 2009

Having Sons Means:

Be forewarned, this post is not for those who are not well acquainted with the world of boys, who cringe at 'potty talk', or who in general, just can't handle frank talk about young children and all of their 'unrefined' ways. Read on at your own risk...
Having sons means:

* it's hard to get an actual sentence out of them between the sound effects of light sabers clashing and bombs exploding. "I psh don't woosh want chuchuccc to ahhhh eat brmm pasta whoohaaa for shooomoooo dinner bchhhhh."

* being awoke to the bellowing of a child wanting you to come into the bathroom quickly, only to discover that he simply wanted to show you the impressive size or shape of what he has left in the potty and then giving you a thumbs up.

* is knowing that this sight will not be as rare as you'd hope. (please see picture: this particular injury happened as a result of an air born cup, thrown by brother.)

* that action heroes are not meant to have a conversations (other than, 'I'll get you' - 'Now you've done it' - 'I'm super strongest'), but just beat on each other repeatedly until one loses a limb.

* bathroom humor will never get old. And I mean never!! I have two brothers and my husband to prove it.

* (and furthermore to the above) simply saying a bodily function/body part word is cause for a fit of complete hysterics. Especially when it is said at the most 'opportune' of times - such as when mum is talking to the Pastor's wife (thank goodness she has grandsons around the same age and is completely understanding!!), or breaking out into the song they composed themselves 'Bummy bum bum... Bummy bum bum' at the library counter (poor librarian was unamused!).

* using a cartoon character (Popeye) to persuade children to eat their green vegetables.. which seems great, until they then start picking up objects that are really too heavy for them to show their 'mushcles.. aye yi yi'. "Look, I can lift this chair right over my head (wobbling about to crush him) because I ate a piece of broccoli. Now I'm as strong as Popeye.. no, I'm his nephew Poopeye." (yes, they saw a cartoon with his nephew 'Poopeye')

* never looking over at your son when you can feel his eyes staring you down during library story time. When you do, you'll simply find him smiling broadly while shoving his finger as far up his nose as possible with a big grin as if to say, 'This little show is just for you mum!! You can't reach me through this sea of children, you have to just sit there and let me torment you.'

* hearing phrases such as, 'Now it's my turn to put my feet on your head.' 'But I want to be Captain Underpants now (did I just have the nerve to capitalize that?) you can be him later.' At least they're taking turns, right?

* (and the best!!!) melting when you hear, "I love you too my sweetheart" when you tuck them into bed.

This list could go on for pages, but you get the idea.
Ah boys! :)
I love em'!!

1 comment:

Jen said...

Laughing. So. Hard.

Boys are different. We don't have any weaponry here, although the kids have used musical instruments to bring the hurt on. I will say that having a husband means that SOME of these boyish traits get passed Jared peppering the word 'hemorrhoid' into a sentence for giggles. So, now Samantha likes to read the book, "Puff the Magic Hemmorrhoid"

The finger in the nose killed me!