Do you ever feel like there are a million and one things to do and most tasks are of just about equal importance?
Then when you finally dive in, you begin one thing and get distracted with another thing because you realize you really can't complete the first task without seeing to this newly found task first? Does this sound confusing? If it does, then you get my current state of mind.
Then coupled with this overwhelming sense of "I've got to get stuff done!!!" you are also riddled with guilt because in order to get 'stuff done' it means that you are not interacting with your child. And this is your last year home with this cihld too!!
Oh - and then (yes, this is all going through my mind at the same time) what in the world am I going to do about work any way??? I currently am a licensed home day care provider that does a preK enrichment program (as opposed to full time M-F care, totally not cut out for that), but the kids I have this year will be off to school next year. Do I start to advertise to see if I can get any new families, or do I get and out-of-the-nut-house job? If so, what can I do so that I don't have to put my kids in child care? And if I must resort to child care, what can I do that will earn enough money so that I actually bring money home after paying for said child care. pant... pant... pant...
This my friends is why I have been having such trouble falling asleep at night! I've tried writing my concerns down on paper before bed (this has been suggested by friends and doctor), but it does not help.
But then I am reminded, as the beautiful hymn (His Eye Is On The Sparrow) says:
Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come....
When Jesus is my portion? My constant Friend is He
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
Lord, help me to choose to not be burdend with worry, but to choose your peace. I ask you to guide my every step, and help me to remember that YOU are in control. Amen
31 Days of Prayer
2 years ago
1 comment:
Oh my dear friend Diane. This goes on in my mind as well, the struggle between children, work-money, home. I have stopped the 2nd part time job, as it creates more havoc on the home. Money yes, is important - but your mental health and the healthy up bringing of your children & family is most important. Admittedly I am a procrastinator, but alas, things always seem to work themselves out. Have faith that they will, relax & enjoy today. We don't know what tomorrow with bring. And as far as the housework! Uggghhh! I started many projects over the last couple of weeks because as you said, you start one and then realize you have to start another - the house looks like a tornado hit! I call them avalanches - avalanche of tupperware in the kitchen corner, avalanche of childrens (do they fit clothes), books (psyched SSH is having a used book sale - I give them my books and they sell them, profit to hospice), furniture - god forbid I should throw anything out and then I would need it. You know - i had 1 hour today of solitude and made more progress when I did focus on just one Disaster Site. Good luck with this! Love you, Karen
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