My Squanto

The big guy had his Thanksgiving class 'play' yesterday. (it turned out to be more of a long poem in costume)

He was so excited about being Squanto! I think you can see the excitement on his face.

This is just a little clip. Turn off the music to the right by clicking on the middle button so you can hear the poem.

Enjoy - and Happy Thanksgiving!!

(sorry for the shaky camera work - son #2 was a wiggle worm on my lap)

The Waiting Room

The lighting was dim. Typically medical centers have harsh fluorescent lighting. I think the designers purposefully made this little waiting room dim to help ladies feel relaxed. Whether waiting to have your mammogram due to a specific concern, a yearly check up or even a base scan, the moments in the waiting room can feel like a most uneasy eternity.

Sitting there with my purse, keys and all clothing from the waist up stuffed into the canvas bin on my lap (fear not, I did have a flimsy little johnny on) I felt very alone. Of course, I was not the only person there. I heard the sound of nurses, doctors and technicians feet clad in soft souled shoes quickly treading this way and that, but sitting there I couldn't help but face the realization that in times like this, you really are alone. Even though when you head into the mammography room and you have a very amiable technician, aka sculpture, shoving, squishing and molding your body into just the right position to be pressed between two hard pieces of plastic as if your breast is a panini; it really is just you and the machine. This large cold piece of equipment holds the answers to every women's fears.

But I am thankful. No, I haven't received my results yet. I am thankful because what could have been a situation that in the past would have had me turning inside out, I had peace. Peace in knowing that in fact, I was not.. I am not alone. Jesus was with me in that waiting room, and came in with me as the technician started reading off my families history, "You have cancer all around you", and stayed with me as I got dressed again and headed out to meet up with my sister who was watching my youngest son. He is with me right now and gives me peace knowing that I should have the results in a week or so. And peace knowing that He will be right there with me regardless of the results.

God willing, the scans will be completely clear! I have no specific concern. But I think this is a fear of all women, especially when you have a family history of it. But God is good! He is with me always, and continues to shower me with His grace through every difficult and trying situation.

Difficult situations can spring up to meet us on a daily basis. This is why I try to be in God's word on a daily basis.

There are a few pieces of scripture that have really stuck with me lately from Proverbs - the book of wisdom.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.

and

Proverbs 3:25 - 26
Do not be afraid of sudden fear,
Nor of the onslaught of the wicked when it comes;
For the Lord will be your confidence,
And will keep your foot from being caught.

Wow! Don't be afraid of fear. Just let your mind wrap itself around that for a moment. And a straight path that I don't have to find on my own! Thank you! I can't find my way out of a paper bag.

My daily difficulties/concerns have been trying lately. But they are bearable. Bearable because I am not alone. I don't have to fear fear. I don't have to figure out the right path on my own (thank heavens because I'd never find it!).

When sitting in the various waiting rooms in life, you don't have to rely on the dim lighting and soothing music to keep you at peace. Go to the source of peace that surpassed all understanding.

photo: 'Hells Waiting Room' from FlickR

Yuck!!

I'm going to share a really gross thing that happened to me today. My husband had a good laugh when I told him - he completely enjoyed my horrible experience.

I was typing out an email to our church secretary for entry into the newsletter when I saw something out of my peripheral vision. I turned to see a big nasty bug climbing up my wall from behind the couch. Yuck!!

Well there I was alone, no man.. or even boy to help me out. I went into the other room and emptied a box of Capri Sun into the fridge and brought the empty box back into where the bug was leisurely strolling along my wall. I put my hand in the box and pow... squish!! (for all of you who think I should have gingerly picked up the house guest and escorted him outside... get a grip!!! I wasn't chancing that thing crawling on me!)

As I pulled the box away from the wall, a horrible oder permeated the air. Yes - it turns out my uninvited guest was a stink bug!! A bloody stink bug in my house! Are you kidding?

Rather than throw it away in the trash and keep the stench lingering, I decided to shake it off of the box outside. (so there you go - the bug was being brought out) Up the stairs I went, opened the front door, stepped out onto the top step and began to shake/scrape the box outside. Just as I was about done and feeling safe to reenter my home, it happened.

Now for all of you nature lovers who thought I was terrible for killing the bug, here's the part you'll love and be saying to yourselves "serves you right". With the last shake, up from the box came a clump of bug guts and hit me right on the cheek. AAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

I threw the box, ran back in and up the stairs and began to scrub several layers of skin off of my cheek. Nasty!!!!

Now That Narrows It Down

Ok, time for some more fun quotes!



My 4 year old tries to tell me a story about a boy at school. me - "What boy was that?", son - "The boy... with the white shirt." me - "What's his name?", son - "I don't know.", me - "What does he look like?", son - thinking.. thinking.. staring off into the distance..."Wellllll.... he has eyes...", me - holding in laughter, "Well that norrows it down."



I bring my boys to my sisters house where aunts and uncle and cousins await to go on a big trip to the movies. 4 year old son immediately starts running up and down the hall (where later he gets a fat lip from bumping inot another running up and down hall) yelling 'I'm Speed Wraserw.. I'm Seep (Racer)!" Nephew - "Billy, slow down, you're not Japanese!!!" (nephew knows nothing about Speed Racer other than it's Japanese animea)



Nieces birthday party. Kids help by passing her presents to be opened. As next one is brought forward, 7 year old son exclaims, "Ohhhh, two presents together... Impressssive!"



As 7 year old puts his shirt on.."Oh, not this shirt! I don't want to look handsome!" me "Well even if you wear a potato sack you'll still look handsome." him "Do you mean no matter what, I have to be handsome?!" poor thing!

Me to 4 year old after hearing a snorting noise ..."What are you doing?" him "My finger is cold so I'm putting it up my nose to keep it warm." cricket cricket.. "Go wash your hands with warm water."

Nerves

Speaking tomorrow night at church.

Only 5 - 8 minutes. Sometimes less time is more nerve wracking.

Praying what I feel led to speak on has been put on my heart by God, and not my own agenda.

Praying that I don't take a path God has given me and then muddy it up with .. me.

Dear Lord,

I know you have been directing me to speak. I know you can use broken vessels for your glory. Help me to accept your calling and stop doubting myself - as this is about what you can and will do, not about my abilities.

As the verse you put on my heart says, 'Abide in me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing... My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples" (John 15: 4, 5 and 8), I pray that I will bear much fruit for the purpose of bringing you glory Lord! Bless each of the women who are speaking tomorrow. Help them to know exactly what you'd like them to say. Bless each of the women who are coming to listen tomorrow Lord. Help them to each take away from the event the exact message you have for them.

Lord, please do not allow me to say one word that will be displeasing to you or that would take away from reaching a woman with your truth. Guide my every word, every inflection in my voice. Help me to 'rest in You'... abide in You oh Lord.

Praise you Jesus!

Amen

Something To Think About..

I was asked today by a new 'friend' on Facebook (a darling former classmate) if I will be attending our 20th reunion in a few months. (boy, 20 year reunion sounds terrible ;)

I instantly responded that I would not, as I have given this some momentary consideration in the past. But now, it's really got me thinking.

My first thoughts on the matter are that I see who I want to see now and don't feel any great longing to see anyone who isn't currently in my life. (Wow, that sounds harsh!! But isn't meant harshly) But given further consideration, there are of course those; my posse from the day, whom I would enjoy seeing.

But here's where it gets interesting and I start analyzing (because heaven forbid I don't analyze every situation at nauseum!!). When I see and chat with those on good ole' FB from BHS, I feel myself start to transition to the 16 / 17 year old me. I've posted on this before.

I start taking on old behaviors like covering my horribly crooked teeth, which are no longer crooked as I had braces put on at age 26. I feel myself start to sort of shrink (I wish in actual clothing size, but no..) I feel.... less!

When I look back at young Diane (sorry, I just referred to myself in the third person.. it works here though), I don't dislike her. She was very sweet. Very nice. "Nice" however became an insipid compliment to me at the time as I felt it was condescending. I felt very under valued. Dismissed frequently. I had no idea what it was to boldly express my opinion or even stand up for myself.

When I think of where I am today compared to then, it amazes me. Not because I think so well of myself, but because I am amazed at what God has done in my life.

The 17 year old me could not do what I do now. She could not run a business. She could not help lead in ladies ministry. She could never get up and speak to a sanctuary full of ladies. She could not call someone and tell them they're wrong when it's called for, especially not someone of authority.

The really cool thing is... The 38 year old me can. But not by my own doing, but by the grace of God.

So, do I choose to keep away from a setting that may make this late 30's overweight, happily married, business owning mother of two feel insecure and little. Or,.. Do I go, allowing God to show me what He has done for His glory and get my confidence from Him.

I'm not sure. On one hand, we're told to keep away from temptation. What temptation? The temptation of wallowing in self-loathing and insecurity.

But on the other hand, do I go as we are told to go out and be a light. And if anyone sees a difference in me, I can share where my life journey has led me?

Something to think about...

The "Children" Having Fun

Yesterday, I went on a picnic and then off to the playground with 'the kids'.
Below, you'll see a video of them having fun on the swings.
To hear better (sorry for my cackling) turn off the songs by going to the right hand column and clicking on the big button in the music section.

I had fun swinging too, but there's no evidence :)

from left to right: Jack, Aidan, Julie, Judy, Billy & Julia.
Enjoy!