Hare today.. gone tomorrow... back next year

We spotted a welcomed old friend today (welcome that is until we get the garden going... then we'll see...)

This time last year, we saw to our delight a baby bunny hopping through our front yard. As the Spring turned to summer, we had many bunny sightings and discovered that he (or she) had a favorite resting spot under our slide. As fall approached, our little friend had grown up quite a bit, and we wondered by winter if we'd see him again.

Well, we have!! (and if you have some scientific explanation as to why it can't be the same bunny - keep it to yourself! we're enjoying our belief that this is indeed the same little fuzz ball!!)

Here is a photo of the closest thing we'll ever get to a pet.

Jack is trying to come up with a name for the bunny that isn't Star Wars related (I'm no fun!!)

A 'Tasteful' Post

Ok, I promised something upbeat!

My friend Missy just started selling Tastefully Simple this past year, and now has web site for her business.

If you've never tried T.S. before, the food is convenient and very very yummy!!!

Take a look!

Damn Breaks

I've been feeling it build up.. yet it's never a good time.
Things to be done (not that they all get done), kids to watch (ie. play referee), dinner to cook, guests to entertain, meetings to be attended, plans to be made, etc...

Tonight, I was working on such tasks (actually, working on my Bible study homework which I love!), when I decided I needed a little break.
I had recorded the second part to the PBS 'Sense and Sensibility' (pretty good take), and decided to watch it. I've read the book and the Emma Thompson movie is one of my favorites, so it's safe to say that I am very familiar with the story.
A very simple scene came on. A scene where Eleanor (the eldest Miss Dashwood) is sitting in the window shelling peas looking very forlorn. Her mother calls her name, and without anything being said to her, Eleanor responds, "Mother, I am happy".

My mother was the most caring person I've ever known. And also, a great worrier. She would ask ofter how I was, and would never take a simple "I'm well" or "I'm doing good" as an answer. This would only prompt her to ask again. But in asking, it would never just be "Diane"... it would be "My angle", "My baby" (yes, at 36, I was still someones baby), "My little love"... you get the point.
This scene just made it so real that I would not have my mother inquiring after me like that again.
Let's face it people, no one loves you like your mother!! (not trying to sell fathers short I assure you, it's simply different) It's a void I can't possibly explain. One can think they know, but it really isn't something you can imagine.

I know my blog must be becoming so horribly depressing to read - sorry!!

I'm just missing her so bad it hurts tonight

I promise I'll try to post something more uplifting next time..

Scent of a Woman

Went to my Dad's house today.

Sat on the sofa, and could instantly smell my Mum....

She had been sleeping on the sofa so she wouldn't accidentally turn onto her left side where her tumor was because it was so painful.

Instantly hit me.

I had had a good morning, despite waking with a mild migraine. 'What is a "mild" migraine' you may ask?.. If I can rate my pain level below a 7, and I don't vomit, I count it as mild.

God brought a friend's pregnancy to mind this morning, and I was truly able to rejoice over this upcoming blessing.

He then brought my pastor and the church secretary, both of which I love, to mind. I felt he wanted me to pray for their day.

I then began thinking about Psalm 23, and the way in which I had heard it preached on about 10 years ago. Psalm 23:

Though I walk through (you're walking through, not staying for the duration) the valley (you can't have a valley without a mountain top) of the shadow (you can't have shadow without the great Light) of death (there is no death without abundant life with Christ Jesus) I shall fear (no fear without the peace that passes all understanding) no evil (no evil without the Holy One who conquers evil).

I felt God's love and comfort and felt the best I had in days.

Then, the sofa... Although her scent reduced me to tears with my poor Dad holding me, there was still something comforting. There was a reassurance. A reassurance that I will never forget her. Her laugh. The silly expression on her face when we'd be making a joke that went right over her head. The habit she had of clicking her nails. The image of her dancing, all in the shoulders. The image of her standing at the stove stirring gravy (she made the best gravy!!!). The way she always wanted to have her arm around me or hold my hand if I was sitting next to her (what I wouldn't give for one more hug!!!). And yes.. her scent.

It seems that now, approaching 3 weeks after her death, that the Lord is bringing me to a place where along with mourning her, I can also take delight in my memories of her.

(This is the last photo I took of my Mum, 5 days before she died. This is Billy's little hand atop hers.)

Tribute

We knew my brother would be performing the service and that my 9-year-old nephew wanted to say something (he did great!!!), but none of us knew my sister closest in age to me was going to speak.
What she said was amazing, and her delivery was unbelievable; especially considering the level of emotion in the room.
Here's her tribute to our mother, and it couldn't have been said any better! Well done Kerry!!!

Our mother, like most mothers, was a very special person. She was warm and loving and funny. You often hear people say how those that have passed will leave a hole or a void. The absence of my mother will leave an abyss. Or at least, that’s how it feels.

Our mother was a big presence in our lives. For us, she was truly the tie that binds. Over the past few days, I’ve found myself wondering how we will carry on without her. I know, of course, that we will, but the idea of it seemed inconceivable.

But as I thought about having to face life without my mother, without my best friend, I realized how, because of her, we will certainly get through this terrible time together.

My mother taught us many things, as most parents do. But three things we learned from her are perhaps the most important lessons for dealing with life.

Naturally, she, along with our father’s help, taught us right from wrong. Through her example, we not only learned the typical rights and wrongs, but we learned the right way to be a good friend, the right way to care about others and the right way to treat the people that are important to you. And she taught us that it is right that family takes care of family. More than once my mother told me what a great comfort it was to her that if ever any of her children were in trouble or in need that we could turn to any of the other 4 and we would be a help and support one another.

Another thing we learned from our mother was to love one another and to do so openly. More than a few people have commented over the years how affectionate my family is to one another. We always great each other with hugs and kisses and do the same again when we part. Well – ok – maybe Eddie and Mark don’t hug and kiss each other – but there is certainly brotherly affection. When we speak to one another on the phone, conversations almost always end with “I love you”, and “I love you too”. We tell our children and our nieces and nephews all the time how much we love them and how special they are to us. Something we learned from our mother.

The last of the three important lessons learned from Mom, was to laugh at life – even if it’s at your own expense – which, in her case, it often was. Mom loved a good laugh. All of the Rockwood family loves a good laugh and we are never together that we don’t laugh a great deal. We learned not to take ourselves so seriously that we couldn't laugh at ourselves – something my mother excelled at. In fact, if she did something funny and there was no one to witness it, she wouldn’t keep her goofs to herself – she’d tell everybody, which is funny in itself.

So, as I think of these things, I realize, though the void is sizable and though the coming weeks, months and even times throughout the years will find us mourning our dearly loved mother, we will as a family, get through it together.

We will stand by one another. We will love one another. And we will laugh together. And in doing so, we will keep our mother’s spirit with us always.

I hope that some of you will learn from my mother, especially to tell the people you love that you love them – and tell them often. Not because life is precarious and you never know how much time you will have together. Not even because it’s what people who love one another should do. Tell them simply because you DO love them.

I know that we will pass these lessons on to our own children and grandchildren: To stand by your family and love and support them; To tell them often how much you love them and to laugh at life – even if it’s at your own expense. Oh – and to never, ever tell a child you have eyes in the back of your head.

My mother, 'Mum', died a week ago tomorrow. I still can't really believe it, even after all of the activity of the week.

I can't write about my Mum too much right now - still way too hard!!!

I would however, like to touch upon a particular subject. Actually, I do believe I am in need of a reeeaaaallllly good venting!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What NOT to say to a grieving family member!

I NEEDED to write this... but I don't want to offened anyone by it... so I'm blanking out my venting.. I know all meant well, even when what was said was far more upsetting than helpful.1. Do not speak as though you know the situation, when you don't. Don't say, 'well she lived a happy long life and at least she didn't suffer.' Mum was only 68... do you really think that's long? And 'she didn't suffer'??? I'll grant you, there are some poor souls out there who suffer far longer, but my poor Mum did suffer. And a 'happy life'... my Mum had a tough life. Yes, she did of course have some happy times - but her life was not easy! My mother did pray with my brother the day before she died and said "yeah" when asked if she'd like to trust Jesus. As a Christian, this of course makes me very happy!! However, if I had one more fellow/sister believer come and tell me that I should be rejoicing at her death, or something similarly unfeeling, I was going to hit someone!!!! People, it's my mother in that casket!!!! I'm glad she suffers no more and is in heaven with God, absolutely!!! But I'd rather have her hear, thank you! It is incredibly cold to say 'you should be rejoicing!', or 'I'm celebrating with you', or 'your mother's prayer and death were such a great encouragement to my prayer life' .... ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????????????? I understand what was meant.... I understand that it was some peoples way of trying to encourage me I guess... but she had only been dead a few days.3. 'Are you doing better?'..... Better?... Oh yes, it's been 5 days, I'm totally over it, thank you! "Every day you'll feel better and better." Ok., and you know this because of when you lost one of your parents? Oh, no?... Well then how the heck do you know??!!!! Again, people trying to be encouraging, but forgetting to use that lump in their heads before they speak.Ok - so it's hard to know what to say, right? I've been there - it is extremely hard!!!

Let me share a few things people said that were very comforting, or at least, appropriate.1. There's the old stand by that says it all "I'm so sorry for you loss". Tried and true, it works!! Falls under the KISS (keep it simple stupid).2. "I have no idea what to say, so I'll just say I'm so sorry." Says it all doesn't it? Honesty is the best policy.3. "I wish I could do something to make it better - but I know I can't, so can I just give you a hug?" Again, honest, heartfelt, as comforting as one can be.4. Offering help. The truth is, when someone is hurting, we like to try to fix it. But in situations like these, it can't be fixed. But to do something tangible, still makes us feel like we are showing our love and support. We have been INCREDIBLY BLESSED with wonderful friends who have expressed their love and support in beautiful and helpful ways

• Babysitting. Because of the help from some amazing ladies, I was able to be at the hospital the whole time with my Mum, right up until the end. Then these great ladies came back to watch the kids during the wake and funeral. It was such a blessing to know our kids were being taken care of by such loving, great ladies!!!!!
• Plants/Flowers: Friends have sent such lovely plants and flowers to brighten our home during this difficult time. They are lovely!!!
• Meals: It has been so nice to not have to think about preparing a meal for the family. We have been brought delicious dishes such as chicken, pasta, breakfast platters, deserts, etc... So very thoughtful!!
• Cards: Beautiful cards, some even home made, with simple - yet comforting wishes.Ok - I warned you this would be my time to vent. And it was.. and I feel a tiny bit better for having done it.

To those who may read this and say 'oh - I said that' - I'm not angry and don't want to make anyone feel bad, I am thankful that you wanted to be there for me - but please do think next time your are speaking to someone who is grieving. And to those who read this and think, I brought a dish, or a plant, etc.. I am so very grateful for your kindness!!!!!thanks for letting me vent!

Sign of Hope

Feeling down today.

She's not well, another trip to the hospital.



Isn't it amazing how the Lord can give us hope - the kind that touches us as only that from the hand of Christ can, in small but powerful ways?!


Here's what greeted me when I pulled into the driveway this afternoon.

My prayer today ~
I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart;
I will tell of all your wonders.
I will be glad and rejoice in you;
I will sing praise to your name, O Most High. (Psalm 9: 1-2)
Lord ~ Give her comfort as only you can. Soften her heart to you. I pray that she would know your peace. Though her body may hurt her and may be failing, do an amazing work in her heart that she may have an inner joy! That her soul will be not only at peace but rejoice in knowing you!! I love her Lord, wrap your arms around her in such a special way!!
I praise you Jesus!!!!!
Amen