Medic Please

"Diane, how are you doing?" - "Oh, I'm fine thanks."
"You've gone through a lot, are you ok?"  - "Yes, I did, but it's ok."

These have been common place conversations lately.

There has been lots going on over the last several months.  Things like meanness.  Gossip.  Lying. Name calling.  You get the general idea.  This is hard enough, but when it happens in the confines of church, it seems to shock and hurt even more as we generally consider church a 'safe place'.  The thing to remember is, church is only made up of people and no one is perfect.  Sorry if that came as a shock to some (wink wink).

Now details about what I've expereinced are not necessary.  The point is that by God's grace, I have never been one to hold onto anger or hold a grudge and so this season has been no different.  However, I've always taken for granted that healing just comes automatically.

One day I came up with an analogy that I shared with my husband that I thought really summed it up.  I said it's like I took a cooking class with friends and one (or two, or.. ) accidentally slipped with her knife and gave me a little slice.  I can forgive that friend so much quicker than the wound will heal.  I'm just in the process of the wound healing, I'm fine.

I was quite happy with this analogy.  I felt I had hit the nail on the head!

Until....

Last Sunday I was at church and was asked again how I was by someone I trust.  I said that I was 'ok' and shared my analogy with the man asking.  I was expecting him to smile and agree with me, however, he instead said something that really didn't sink in until this morning while doing my hair.  He said, "Yeah, but instead of a friend(s) accidentally giving you a little slice, she purposely took the knife and stabbed you in the hand.  That's a little harder to handle."......... WOW!!

While burning curling my hair this morning, this conversation replayed in my mind and it really registered.  If you get a little slice, you wash it, put on some ointment and put on a bandage and you're on your way.  This is how I've handled things emotionally.
With a stab wound though, you'd put some packing on it and go to the hospital to make sure there isn't internal damage; then you'd get stitched up and book your follow up appointment to make sure it doesn't get infected.

What I've experienced hasn't been a little accidental slice; it's like stab wounds.  They run deep, not at the surface level.  I can't put on a little balm and expect that it will heal itself.  I need to go to the doctor - to the Great Physician!

I've prayed about all of the situations going on and for other people, but I haven't prayed and asked God to heal me.  It seems, selfish almost.  But the truth is, if I don't seek medical attention when necessary, the wound can fester and become a bigger problem.  I need to have my wounds healed by the only one who truly can.

So, am I ok?  Yes, or rather, I will be.  I'm just in a season of having my wounds healed, and I trust God that He absolutely will heal them!! 

When One Door Closes, A Windown Opens, Right?

It's the end of an era.  Well, ok, almost 8 years... But an ending none the less.

I have served on the Women's Ministry team (called W.O.W. for Women of Worship) at our church ever since our second son (who is just about to turn 8) was about a month old.  This weekend, I stepped down from serving on the women's ministry team. Writing the letter of resignation was so difficult, for so many reasons.  Even just typing that statement out on here was hard.

For several years now I have served in multiple capacities at our church in addition to volunteering at school (for 2 years), working at another church as their secretary, being a Cub Scout leader, etc.. and as a result, my family and our home has suffered for my being over-extended.  God really convicted me of this some time ago when our younger son wanted me to play with him but I had to tell him no as I was preparing for a women's ministry meeting and finishing up a report for another church board. I realized my priorities were wrong!  But I still questioned, "God, are You telling me to let go?"

Quite some time ago; about a year and a half ago to be specific, I had decided that I was going to call the Pastor to tell him I needed to step down - only for him to beat me to the punchline. He was stepping away to take another job.  I felt like I had to stay at that time, I couldn't let people down.  Well it was determined this weekend that he is coming back, so I felt peace and God's leading that it was time for me to now step down.

Being coordinator of the team has been such a blessing and a true labor of love.  God gave me such a love for all of the women of our church, and all of His daughters in general.  If I have left anything with them, I hope it is a love for God's word and a desire to grow closer to Jesus!!!

I have served with some truly wonderful ladies through the years - Debi, Barbara, Janet, Debbie R., Pam, Pat, Sherri, Jen, Deb H..  Thank you ladies, it's been an honor to minister along side of you!
W.O.W. will always have a special place in my heart!!  We've had such fun and special times!!

I'm reminded of the saying, "When God closed a door, He opens a window", and therefore wonder, if this door is closing, where is the open window?

I am excited to see where the window He will open will lead!  Continued home Bible study? Discipling?  Writing?  Speaking?  Maybe just being quiet and not so busy so I can listen to what He has to say to me...

As I'm typing this, it's suddenly struck me how being the women's ministry coordinator has become such a strong part of my identity.  It grounded me with a sense of purpose.  I had never really thought about that before.  Hmm... I don't have to be (shouldn't any way) part of a team/committee to have a sense of purpose. Maybe this is why the door has been closed...

In any case; I will try not to be sad, but will wait with anticipation to see what's beyond the next open window!

I've Missed You

It was our big guy's birthday yesterday.  11... Seriously, how can that be?!!!  But I digress...

I wanted to update my photo on FB to a baby picture of him, but I couldn't find one one my lap top.  After wracking my brain trying to think where I can find a baby picture of him on the computer, it occurred to me to check old blog posts.

As I came to this blog, it was like rediscovering an old friend.  I began reading old posts and remembering events and feelings that I had forgotten.

But what really hit me was, I used to love to blog!  I loved writing about silly things, serious things, painful things and frivolous things.  I would look forward to the rare comments - but it wasn't instant gratification like on FB when someone hits a 'like button'.  The real gratification was in getting whatever I was going through out of me and into written words.  I'm much more likely to really express myself here than on FB.  I can be more.... me.

What I discovered yesterday is that, I miss this.  I miss blogging.  I miss just being, The Lady of the House Speaking.  I have things to say; even if they're not important to anyone but me.

So blog, I'm coming back.  I've missed you!

One of Those Seasons

Hello little blog; my goodness how I've neglected you!

As I sit here in my recliner and rock, I think back on my very stressful day.  Fighting with the kids to get ready for school only to have them time and time again start to play or fight instead of doing the task I gave them. Then in the 11th hour, son #1 pulls out a review sheet and asks me to quiz him.  We finish as I tell him to get his coat on and get out to the bus stop only to notice son #2 had still been playing rather than doing as he was told which lead to me running outside and flagging down the bus so it wouldn't leave without him.  Not a great start to the day.
There's more that added to the stress, but I won't continue on.  You all know what a bad day looks like.  Take this and add to it a plate that is way too full (ok, in this instance I'm not making a crack at my weight - but rather refering to my tendency to take on way more than I can sanely handle).
Lately, I've had more and more of these days.
With all of this, my low self-esteem has been kicking into overdrive.  As emails, phone calls and any other forms of communication come in where people have taken the opportunity to take advantage, I have no energy to hold up my shield.  Take advantage of what?  My people-pleaseing nature. My almost inability to say 'no'.  My habit of rolling over when people say things unkind, insulting, super and unjustly critical, etc.. Folks, this just boils down to 'one of those seasons'. (boo-hoo, call the whaaaaaambulance!)

Quite frankly, I'm sick of this season.  I can't fix it, I can't just suck-it-up. BUT, I do have a Savior that can handle all of this.
Here's the challenge I'm giving myself (to begin tomorrow).  I will be holding on with both hands to at least one scripture verse a day to speak truth into this season of stress, frustration and hurt.
I'm not great - but my God is!!!
Don't let others, your schedule, your view of yourself or even the devil get you down.  It's so easy to fall into this pit. 
God, please help me and anyone else reading this that can relate, get out of this pit and reach up for your ever-extended hand.

Mind Your Business - lol

Too funny to not share:

This story is actually about a month old now, but I was thinking about it and it still makes me giggle.

I was helping my 6 year old out of the shower and he said to me, "Mummy, do I have to wear those pajamas again?" (He for some reason, had gone in his room and put on his pj's only to have to remove them again to shower.)  "Yes" I replied.
He sighed and asked, "Mum, don't some people just sleep in their underwear?"
Me - "Yes, some men sleep in their underwear."
6 yr old - Thinks a second and makes a little sour face - "Yeah, women wouldn't do that.  That would just be really gross."
Me - "Do you think women are gross?" I asked with a smile on my face.
6 yr old - With a little bit of a Stan Laurel look on his face, "Um, Mum, I think you should just mind your own business." (Please note: This was not fresh or rude, it was as if he had spoken his previous thought by mistaken and was now embarassed.)
Me - Laugh! "It is my business, we were having a conversation!"
6 yr old  - Pats me on the shoulder - "Well, you're welcome for cracking you up."

Ah yes, that he does!!

A Splash of Color

I came across a great blog while looking on Pinterest the other day.  Do you know about Pinterest?  I'm sure you do, that's a post for another time.
It's called The Small Things and  it's done by Kate, a Christian hairstylist.  She gives great tips on hair, make-up and stying.  Great stuff!  I just may have found my new haircut there too.
Today I went on and saw that she had a giveaway on her site for Zoya and Birchbox Blogger collection polishes.  Shown on the blog are beautiful spring colors!
My toenails go naked from October to about March, but as soon as the weather starts to change I love to break out some color!  I'm funny in that I will use much bolder colors on my toes that I will on my fingers.  Am I just strange or do others do the same thing?
If you'd like ot check it out, go to http://www.thesmallthingsblog.com/2012/04/zoya-blogger-collection-giveaway.html#more

And the Word Is....

It's that time again faithful 'Lady of Da' House' readers (thank you to all 3 of you!), that's right, it's time for my Word of the Year.  The word will become my key word that I hope will inspire me over the next 12 months.
Before going forward however, just a quick reflection on how I did with last year's word.  My word for 2011 was "Do".  I have to admit that I did do a lot last year, but not necessarily everything I listed.  The boys room does now have a desk and shelves. Check.  I did do a major cleanout of the playroom. Check. I did go through the mini dresser in my room, but since we couldn't afford to replace it, it's still there. Half check.  Work on ministry... well, I did create business cards and a blog, but didn't get much further. Half check.  I GOT A JOB - big ole' CHECK!  I will give myself a B for the year.  That may be a bit generous.. but that has to do with this year's word.

Drum roll please......

My word for 2012 is - HEALTHY

1. Physically Healthy  (Of course we all go to this meaning of the word when we hear it)
     *  Make healthier food choices. (more fruits & veggies, less processed foods, vitamin)
     *  More physical activity (2-3 x wk) & more sleep (min. 7 hours)
     *  The focus isn't on weight loss - but health. Weight loss will most likely be a nice benefit.
2. Healthy Relationships
     * Spend more time with my family (date night with the hubs at least once a month, family devotions,
       uninterupted mom-son time daily, 1week vacation & 3 weekends away)
     * Friendships that are an equal give and take - encouraging, edifying relationships.
     * Spend regular, quality time with the Lord. (min. 1/2 hour quite time daily)
3. Healthy Ministry
     * Prayerfully consider what God is calling me to. Say 'yes' to it and give it 100%.
     *  To what I do not feel God is calling me to, say "no" and mean it.
     *  It's healthy to share - so I will share Christ with people.  Incidentally, do you know Christ as your
       Savior?  Yes, I'm talking to you... If not,and I know you, I'd love to have you over for a cup of tea
       and some fresh baked cookies and have a nice chat.  (If I don't know you, leave me a comment
       and I'd love to share Christ with you)4. Healthy Thinking

     * I'm thinking of Philippians 4:8 - Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever   
       is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or  
       praisworthy, think about such things.
     * I will not let what other's think about me determine how I feel about myself. Psalm 139:14 ... I am
       fearfully and wonderfully made.

I have notes that go far more into detail, but I don't think it's too healthy to obsess over excessive details. :)

What are your goals for 2012?
Whatever they are - I wish you a happy, healthy and richly blessed new year!!!