Mums & Daughters

So last night I'm watching tv, excited to actually have a few good shows on (at least to my way of thinking).
First I watched the opening show of the new season of the Biggest Loser.  I sat there thinking, "I wonder how I'd fare during the first workout of the series?"  I remember back to my younger days when I was really into working out.  I saw myself as I watched some of the contestants thinking back to the time I was taking as step class.  Up. Down. Up. Down... run to the bathroom to throw up... run back.. Up. Down. Up. Down. like nothing had happened.  But that was back when I was 20 or 21.  It would be a whole other ball of wax now that I'm only a moderately active 39 year old.  I'd like to think I wouldn't whine a lot though... I'd like to think that.
The show was good but as each episode must do, it ended with the first 'You're not the biggest loser' dismisal of the season.  It was between a mother and a daughter and as typically happens in these scenarios, both wanted to sacrifice themselves to save the other.  In the end the mother was sent home.  When the results were final the parting words of the mom and daughter were heart felt and pulled at my gut.  Why?  It's just a show and I don't know these people.
There is something that upsets me that I don't share often and only a couple of people know these feelings I have for fear of judgement and for fear of 'Pollyanna'esque responses especially from those who do not know what it is to be in my situation.
You see, I lost my much beloved mum two and a half years ago rather quickly (5 1/2 weeks) to cancer.  I miss her every day.  My husband and I have been blessed with two handsome, funny, sweet, smart, wonderful boys whom I adore!!
But you see, I will never again have a mother-daughter relationship.  This breaks my heart.

I originally posted more after this, but really, the last statement above says it all..

New Year ~ New Word

It's that time again.. I can't beleive it.
2010 passed by so quickly and yet there were days I thought would never end.
2010 brought our first ladies retreat at church last January.  It brought my first sucessful vegetable garden.  A small car accident (but not a small bill to repair scratch).  I saw my niece get married this summer and made my first stacked wedding cake.  It was one of the most wonderful summers I've ever had; made wonderful memories with my boys!  We went on our first real family vacation. I saw my baby head off to Kindergarten and my older son went to 3rd grade.  It was the year my Uncle Kenny went home to be with the Lord.  My husband and I celebrated 10 years of wedded bliss (well, bliss most of the time :)  My Aunt Helen became unwell and now lives in a nursing home/rehab.  It was the year I felt the Lord call me into ministry.  I lost 40 pounds this year!  There were ups, there were downs and lots of twists and turns.

Those of you who have read my blog for any time will remember that each year at this time I choose a word, or theme for the year ahead as opposed to making 'resolutions'.  Before I write about 2011, I'd like to think back on my word for 2010.  My word for 2010 was FIT.  I wanted to 'fit' myself back into my life.  I wanted to take myself off of the bottom of my to-do list.  I ate better.  Tracked my food on SparkPeople.com.  I began to exercise (never thought I'd do that).  I studied God's word on a more regular basis.  I took some time, maybe not enough, but some time, for me.

Again, those of you who have been with me a while know that I grade myself on how well I think I did carrying out my theme and this year I give myself a B+.  I'm pleased, not thrilled with my performance.  I started off the year very well.  By summer, I had slowed down quite a bit.  By Thanksgiving however, I slowed to a snails pace before completely falling apart, but thankfully the holidays are just a few weeks from the new year so that mess was short lived.

So now it is time to unviel my word for this year.  After thinking over exactly what I want in my mind for several weeks, God has finally delivered my word to me.  ACTION!  I want to be a woman of action.  Woooow, that can sound.. suspect.  Let me explain...

So often I think in my mind what I'd like to do.  What I should do.  What I could do.  And yet, frequently, I do nothing at all.
I write lists that never get completed.  I start projects that get left undone.  I have so many people that I intend to write to and yet....
I've tried to figure out why I do, or rather, don't do these things and the best I can come up with is fear.  Fear of failure, of not doing things 100% correct or maybe even just not as well as others.
Self talk ~ "I could write her a note but what if she isn't encouraged by it or what if she doesn't even know who I am?" (I wrote a note to a stranger years ago after hearing her father's prayer request on her behalf. She now goes to our church and she approached me on one of her first visits to thank me.)  "I could try to write a children's book but what if it's no good and no one wants to publish it?" (Twelve publishers turned down J.K. Rowlings before one agreed to publish Harry Potter.  Besides, shouldn't I at least give them the opportunity to refuse me?)  "I feel called by the Lord to be a women's ministry speaker, but what if no one wants to hear me?  What if they don't like me?  Who am I to speak, I don't have a theology degree?" (Beth Moore doesn't have a degree in theology.  Am I not short-changing God if I hear His call but think He doesn't know who He is calling?)  "I could apply for that job but the hours probably wont work for our family or I'll most likely be terrible at it." (Who would have thought when I started a temp job when I was 24 that I would become a natural on computers and would then be promoted 3 times in 4 years?  Why do I automatically think that I'll fail?)
God tells us in His word over 300 times to "Fear No", yet I've been choosing to disobey Him and fear.  Why in the world do I choose the terrible feeling of fear and let it restrict my life rather than choose the security that as long as I'm living in His will He will provide?  Silly, right?  Right!

Also, the word action has come to me time and time again in studying scripture.  In the early fall of this past year the Lord put a speaking topic on my heart having to do with action.  If you say you're a Christian, you must take action!  I have been writing my first retreat topic based on this.  As I write it I find myself saying 'But who is going to want to hear it?  You'll write it and then never share it."  Wow - some seriously defeated self-talk hugh?  Kinda pathetic!!  If God is putting the topic of action on my heart, the person who most needs to let that take effect in their life is me!!  How can I share it with others and not have it first take root in my own life?  Action therefore for me means to stop being held back by fear and getting on with it; whatever the 'it' may happen to be at a certain time.

So this year I will take ACTION!

* I will continue to study and write the talks that the Lord has put on my heart knowing that He will show me when and where I am to share His inspiration. I will proceed with the calling the Lord has put on my heart and go into ministry as a women's speaker.

*  I will write the children's stories that are in my mind.  I will work on the illustrations and not worry if they will be good enough.  They certainly wont be if I don't even try.  I want to submit at least one book to a publisher this year.

*  I will submit at least one devotional for publication.  If God puts thoughts, stories into my mind that encourage me and some of the ladies from my church then I should see if He wishes them to encourage other Christians as well.

*  I will put my body into action.  I will continue to become a more active person.  I will complete the couch to 5k program this year.  I will find physical activities the whole family can do together.

* I will make/buy cards and have stamps available so that when the Lord puts someone on my heart who needs a word of encouragement, I'll be ready to go.  No excuses.

* In general, I will not be held back by fear.  I will not be recklace, but I will go forth and live my life and not wait things out on the sideline.  I'm getting in the game folks so hold on to your hats!!

Ready, set, ACTION!!

"I AM THANKFUL" Challenge

Reposting from my other blog: www.itst-i-m-e.blogspot.com/

Count your blessings, name them one by one,

Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

I have decided that from now until Thanksgiving day I want to post every day about something for which I am thankful and I'd like to invite you all to join me!

Are you ready to take the "I AM THANKFUL" challenge?

First, I want to let you know that I would like to encourage everyone to take the time to give thanks daily for all of the blessings in your life. However, if you'd like to be entered into the official 'challenge' and be eligible to win the prize I have listed at the end of this post, then you will need to follow the bellow instructions.

1. Become a follower of my blog.

2. Send me a message or post a comment letting me know that you will be participating and make sure to leave your blog address.

3. Copy the below image to your side bar and link it back to my blog.

4. Post about the challenge and begin blogging your blessings!

When you stop to think about it, there are millions of things we could post!! There are the obvious things that we're so thankful for such as our families and our health, but don't forget the things that we take for granted every day like indoor plumbing and political commercials. Ok, just making sure you were still with me! However we can be thankful that we live in a country where we get to vote!! (ok, that's enough of politics!)

I can't wait to hear how each participant feels at the end of this challenge. I can only imagine how good we'll all feel when despite what each day may bring, we've taken time all month to focus on our blessings!!

*Please feel welcome to join up until Nov. 5th.

Now it's prize time.

A few years ago my friend Michelle ran a crafting challenge blog and called me to asked me to make a mini-book of some sort for her challenge. I came up with the mini-book pictured here. The theme is obviously, Thanksgiving. I chose to use this book to write in holiday family favorite recipes, but it could be used for pictures or to write notes about what you're thankful for!!  The winners will not look exactly the same, but it will be the same idea.  I'll also throw in a Special K Chocolate and Pretzel bar that I posted about yesterday. Maybe another goody will sneak in too.

I will write down the names of everyone who enters the challenge. Then the weekend after Thanksgiving I'll pull a name. I will then go to their blog to make sure they participated all month, and if so, we'll have a winner!

Ok friends, I hope this helps us all get into a thankful state of mind!

And let me not go any further before saying, I am thankful for all of you!!!

What A Legacy

Sitting between my sister closest in age to me and my husband I listened as God's word was read and folks stood up to share their special memories of my uncle.  Tears of sadness and tears of laughter were intermingling down my cheek while a chorus of sniffles could be heard throughout the church.
In beginning the eulogy he was about to deliver, my cousin told us how he had run an off-color joke by his wife asking if he should say it in honor of our uncle at the service.  His wife wisely advised him, 'not at church'.  He then said he'd be happy to share it at the collation.  Uncle Kenny would have loved that!
He then went on to the standard, "What can I say about.."  But then what he shared next was anything but ordinary.  For you see, my uncle was not an 'ordinary' man.  As my cousin said many times, he was 'larger than life'.
The heart of his message was about the kind of legacy this 'larger than life' character had left to us.  He was not a man who strove for wealth or status.  He didn't care to brag or try to impress others with what he had, what he had done, where he had gone and so forth.  He didn't spend his time trying to accumulate material possessions.
No, that was not him.  He was about people.  He befriended folks.  He was the first to help anyone who needed a hand.  He loved deeply; especially his wife of 54 years.  And boy oh boy, he loved to make folks laugh!!  His gift of humor was so much the more enjoyable because he was not one who needed to be mean to be funny.
What a legacy, huh?  He gave wonderful examples of each of these points that caused a wave of nodding heads in the pews as everyone was able to insert their own personal stories in their minds to attest to Kenny's legacy.
We were then all challenged to think about what kind of legacy we are currently striving toward verses maybe what we would like to leave.  Since my oldest son was 9 months old I have been a stay-at-home-mom.  I have loved this life and wouldn't change it for anything! What a blessing!!  But the truth is that there have been times, and times now when I've wondered if I had made the right choice.  As bills get tighter and the 'bare bones' gets even more bare I think, "Shouldn't I just send the kids to daycare and earn some money so we can get new cars and go to Disney and buy the kids more toys and..." (Please do not misread this to think I am putting anyone down who has their kids in daycare.  Every situation is different and what is right for one is not for another.  This is solely my life experience and our situation, no judgement.)
But then I think about what we have been able to do because of this choice we made.  I was able to visit with my mother regularly, especially once she was diagnosed with cancer.  If I had had to worry about work, I wouldn't have been able to spend that time with her.  I wouldn't have been there to share every moment with my boys like first steps, first words, school assemblies and help my son who was non-verbal until 3.  I wouldn't have been able to study God's word so that I could be the coordinator of Women's Ministry at our church and lead Bible study and prepare for talks with the women.  These are but a few of the things that I was blessed to experience by choosing a life far more valuable than money and possessions.
I pray that as life changes and God takes me down new roads that I will always choose as my uncle did to invest my life in people and not 'things', status or bragging.  I hope I always remember to share a laugh, even at my own expense regularly with others.  My hope is that my legacy will be one of caring, loving, hopefully giving a laugh to folks and pray that I'll be a light of the love of Christ and His faithful servant.
Listening to the eulogy, I couldn't (and still can't) help but think his legacy is a pretty gosh darn good one!  I love you Uncle Kenny, thank you!

Now I'll pose the question to you.

What kind of legacy do you wish to leave?

The Things They Say!

Just a few funny things my guys have said/done recently.
I hope they give you as much of a giggle as they have me.

1. 5 year old is standing on the top of the stairs just outside the kitchen back door.  I'm in the kitchen folding laundry.  Child tells (YELLS) to me that he has picked a 'wishing flower' (you know those things that look like dandilions but they're white and fluffy) and is now going to make a wish.  In the loudest voice he could muster (and boy can this child be loud!) he bellows out his wish...
"I wish my mummy was beautiful!"
I LOST it!!!!  I threw my head back and screamed of laughing with tears freely flowing.
My son looks through the window positively baffled.  "Mummy, what's so funny?  Why are you laughing?"
Without waiting for a reply, he looks back to his flower stem and then back at me and gasps, "Oh look! It worked!!"  Mind you, this 'punch line' he says in a quiet voice, so all the neighbors must have been thinking, "This poor kid is sick of looking at his ugly mother."
Isn't that fabulous?!!  I have had laugh over laugh over that one.  Great stuff!!

2.  8 year old is playing a Star Wars computer game as I huff and puff my way through 3 miles of aerobics.  When I stop and shut off the DVD player, son turns around and says, "How much did you do today Mum?"
I answered, "Three miles today."
Son - "Oh.  Well I think you could have done better than that." said with the most dismissive of voices and looks on his face.  But then again, he has every reason to critique as he sits there giving his pointer finger a workout as he protects the galaxy with the mouse!!! 
Can you believe it?  Too funny!  He really is the sweetest kid though!

3. Playing "guys" with my younger son.  I'm waiting as he assembles his Lego Buzz Lightyear.  I make my guy say, "Hey Buzz, how come you're not put together?"
My son, oops, I mean 'Buzz' answers, "Well you know I always say I come in peace."
LOL - isn't that great!! I come in peace - like, I come in pieces!!  I thought that was so clever for a little guy that only turned 5 this summer.  Ahh.. they amuse me so!

4.  Last Thursday I was gathering my notes together and son #1 asked what I was doing.  I told him that I was preparing for the talk I'd be giving that evening for the ladies at church.  He says, "Oh, and do you feel a  little shy about being up in front of everyone?" 
"Yes, a little." I answered.
"Wait a minute." he tells me.  He then emerges from his room with a stuffed Spiderman tucked under one arm, a Serta sheep under the other and hands filled with Star Wars guys and plastic pirates.  "Here you go Mum.  I'll put everyone down stairs so they can be your audience.  You can practice your talk in front of them and then you'll feel good for tonight."
How bloody cute is that???  See, I told you he is sweet.

Ok, that's enough of that.

Actually, no it's not.  I have a video!
My 5 year old could not get enough of "This Little Piggie" for some reason the other day.  Enjoy!!

You've Got A Job - Get To It!

So there I was two nights ago sitting on my couch watching heavens knows what, for it really didn't matter what was on the screen as I was so wrapped up in my thoughts.  I was consumed with thoughts of worry and self-l.. no, not that extream.. not feeling very productive.

I began to pray and ask God to give me a job or some more kids for my day care. "Please help me to provide for my family Lord.  The cars aren't in great shape, the house needs some repairs, we are barely scraping by and I'm just so tired of job hunting and sending out applications and resumes with nothing in return."  Then God spoke to me (yes, God is still in the business of speaking to us if we are quiet enough to listen).  He reminded me that I already have a job.  Several actually.  I am to care for my husband, my children and my home.  He impressed on me that those are the jobs that I am to see to at this point in time and that I need to do them to the best of my ability.  He also reminded me that the second point of the talk I'll be giving in just over a week is how we can trust God's word.  So am I going to trust His word, or not?  The Bible says if He cares for the little sparrow, how much more does He care for us?  If He sees to their needs won't He see to mine?  Of course He will!! And how many times in the Bible does He tell us to "fear not"?  Over 300 times!!  I can't just say I trust, I've got to live it!

So up I got off of the couch and began to iron the clothes I had piled waiting for pressing.  Then as the dryer buzzed I pulled out the next batch in need of de-wrinklization!
Next I headed up stairs (it's now about midnight) and made everyone's lunches for the next day and had hubbys breakfast out and ready for him in the a.m.
The next morning I got up and went right downstairs to get in my 2 mile workout before tackeling the morning routine with the boys.  Once my little cherubs were out and on their way to school I then decided to tackle a project that I've wanted to get to and was inspired between last nights prayer jam with God and having read a great post by the Domestic Engineer.  I cleaned my cabinets!
This was seriously labor intensive and not pretty.  Below you will see what I was dealing with and what the end results were.

These are the cabinets above the stove and microwave.  As you can see, this is a hodge-podge of market goods.  Exactly why do I have sugar and salad dressing and rice and Rice Crispy Treats and Vinegar and... in the same cabinet?

Now this space is used for side dishes (mostly).  I had found a box in this cupboard with approximately 3 grains of rice.  And I was keeping that for...????

Unfortunately I did not snag a 'before' shot of this one.  But let me assure you the spices were in sad shape.  I found a bottle of celery salt that had expired in 2006!  Better yet, my husband asked me why I threw it out?!!! Men!  Please note the little bowl of meds on the top shelf.  The Domestic Engineer had suggested keeping those meds you take at meal time in the kitchen. Brilliant!

Wow!  This cluttered disaster is otherwise known as my baking cupboard.  I am a baker.  Love to bake.  I am amazed looking at this now that I was ever able to find what I needed.  I was expecting to find Whitey Bulger behind the light corn syrup (too much of a Boston reference?), but alas, the coast was clear and in code.

SWEET!  Now I can easily access my numerous flavorings, theres a spot for my chocolate chips and a seperate container for nuts.  My boys were super impressed by the extensive array of sprinkles!

DANGER!  Enter this cabinet at your own risk!

I was frequently pelted with tea bags, overcome by an avalanch of snack crackers and occassionally knocked into dizziness (more than normal) by Pam!

Sniff sniff.. It's a thing of beauty, is it not?

Look at how elegantly the tea bags are displayed in the glass jar!  Look at how the healthy cereals are lined up ever so neatly.  It's been a day and still nothing has tried to assault me from this cabinet.  Amazing!

My oldest son came home from school and noticed the neatened cabinets and then looked at the bottom ones. "Hugh.  So when are you going to get to these?"  Seriously?!  I had best set this boy straight withing the next 15 years or so if he plans on getting married some day.  Geesh!

The bottom cabinets will be next week.

So thank you again to the Domestic Engineer!!  Please go visit her blog - she has some really wonderful posts!!

Unabashed Family Plug

After a few years hiatus (sort of) my sister-in-law Paula is back selling Pampered Chef.  I say 'sort of' because even though she hasn't been a consultant for years she has still been 'in the business' by assisting her director.
For those who don't know, Pampered Chef is a home sales company that sells amazing cooking supplies!!  Paula's whole kitchen (ok, not the appliances) is Pampered Chef, so no one knows the product better than she!  And (I still feel guilty using 'and' at the begining of a sentence! Hope Mrs. Peletier doesn't read this.) she is a great cook!!
So if you are in need of some kitchen supplies (baking stones, utensils, knives, hostess sets, etc...) please visit her site.  PC ships direct to you, so no worries if you don't live in Maine.
Some of my personal favorites:
Pizza Stone
Cutting Boards
Mix n' Scraper (the best!)
Classic Batter Bowl
Stainless Whisk  (another best!)
Small, Medium and Large Scoops
And although I don't own any (there I go with 'and' again... hanging head low) I've used their knives and they're great!!!
These are just a few favs.

Happy cooking!!