Oops.. He Did It Again

I can only imagine the phone calls that came after...

"Hey Suzie, I have a funny story for you! I was at The Christmas Tree Shop and,.. yes, I do love a bargin! Any how, I was there looking at a greater and,... well you never know when you're going to need one..... I don't know. Maybe I'll want some fresh parmasian someday. So I'm standing there and this woman and her little boy come by. I smiled at the little boy - he was cute and was bee boppin' to the music on the speaker. Any how, they passed by and like a few seconds later I hear, "Hey mummy, look. I'm picking my bum!" I couldn't help it, I laughed out loud! When the mother looked at me I clamped my hand over my mouth and tried not to look at them. Yeah, she was like 'Be nice! Stop saying fresh words.' But then the kid kept saying it and then starting doing this sing song thing like 'bummy bum bum' or something like that. It was great!"

So glad that we were able to do our part in bringing a smile to someones face today!

Every Child Is Perfectly Designed

I had the pleasure of attending 'Beyond Bossing, Begging and Bribing" a talk presented by The Better Behavior Bureau speaker/founder Jeanine Fitzgerald on Wednesday evening.

I was fortunate enough to hear Jeanine speak a few years back and was thrilled for another ride. She is blunt, honest, dry and hysterically funny!! It was a free night that not only benefited me as a parent, but also gave me a few hours for my continuing ed for my family child care license. So I grabbed my cup of iced caffeine and and off I went for my 'night out'. (hey, I take what I can get!)

I'm going to bullet point (you know how I love to bullet point) some of my most favorite things that she had to share. Some serious wisdom here from Mrs. Fitzgerald, so take some notes...

* "Every child is perfectly designed." They don't need 'fixing' - but we need how to reach them on their level. Ok, as a Christian, I'd prefer 'every child is perfectly created' - but no need to split hairs. This is a beautiful point!

* "Temperament is genetic." Take a good look at your little cherub(s) and you're bound to find bits of yourself and your spouse. Of course, those traits that are maybe... undesirable, we'll say they get those from dad. (or mom, depending on who's reading ;)

*"Some children are 'discipline resistant'." Isn't that a fabulous term? Love it!

*Effective Commands: "Discern when kids get a choice and when not." If something is not a choice, don't phrase it as such. "Deliver so a child can hear (no extra words)" example: "Pjs now" "Statement" (when it's not a choice) example: "It's time to go upstairs" (keep away from 'I need or you need' kid don't care what you need and what they need is subjective) Say things 3 - 5 ft away. Wait 10 seconds before you repeat yourself.

*"75% of parents give in" - Wow! This is why kids will hold out - they have a great chance that in the end they'll get their way. Say something twice - if they don't respond, take action! example "Go to the car now" (child - "no" or just doesn't move from the playground).. wait 10 seconds... "Go to the car now" (same response from child) .. wait 10 seconds... Now it's time to go and get the child, no bribing or begging.

* "Epidemic in the U.S. It's called 'Childhood Affluenza'" - LOVED this!! Lots of info on this category. I'll just mention a bit of it. 1. American children are the most unhappy children in the world and the most demanding. (per a source she named but I don't recall) 2. Gifts should be kept to gift giving occasions not, "oh, it's Tuesday, lets go buy jr a new $100 item". 3. There's a difference between responsibilities and jobs. Doing your normal personal care/house cleaning is a responsibility not a job. Allowances should be for doing jobs that are over and above responsibilities. example: cleaning room, taking out trash, putting away laundry,etc. - responsibility. helping parent make copies for work, washing parents car, etc. - job to earn reasonable pay - not exorbitant fee.

* She did a wonderful chart of personalities. Quick paced/slow paced/ task oriented/ people oriented. Great stuff!! Helps to understand what speaks to your child and how to best reach them on their level. If anyone wants more info on this, let me know.

This is just a smattering of what was shared at the talk. It really was great stuff and my typing it out can't do it justice. If you get the chance to hear Jeanine, I'd highly recommend going!! I'll be keeping a look out to see if she'll be around again - I'll post here if she is.

One last thing for all of us parents to remember. (ready - this is highly convicting!) On average, children speak with their parents (conversation) 7 minutes a day! Ouch!!!

We all have the same number of hours in our day.

What are our priorities?

Square Peg

Square Peg: a person in a position, situation, etc. for which they are unsuited or unqualified.

Time and time again, I am finding myself in very uncomfortable situations. This square peg just isn't fittin' into some of the circles I used to! (or jeans... I'm just sayin')

I frequently find myself looking on to a conversation or event with nothing to add. Yes, me, at a loss for words! (Those who know me well are raising their eyebrows right now.) Then, I start to have an inner dialog and analyze the fact that I have nothing to add. Let me just say right now, that I am a champion over-analyzer!!!! (this is common with us chicas, I know)

Has this happen to you?

Through my 'over-analyzing', I have come to believe that in some circumstances, I have outgrown the relationship. (by this, please understand that I don't mean I'm 'better' than anyone! rather, our thoughts, values, perspectives have just gone in different directions.) We don't look at things the same way or value things on the same level. What is of primary interest and important to me is not to them, and visa versa. One's ways are not better than the others, just different.

I'm wondering if again, I'm entering another season of life. We are constantly a work in progress. I think I may just be on the Potter's wheel again getting reshaped. (this time could it involve a smaller dress size too please.. you know, while you're at it and all..)

As uncomfortable as it is (and it really is!!!) I'm reminded of what great comfort and wisdom I get from reading the book of James. I remember that God will perfect us in our faith through trials.

Lord, this too shall pass I know. Help me not give in to self doubt or fear as I know You are in control and have a greater purpose for everything! Thank you for the joy you have given me and that even in trial, it never dies out!!

Amen!

I had another great day today with my my youngest son and the girls I care for and then later with my other son and husband.

Right now, I'm sitting here at my computer getting ready to head upstairs and take a nice hot shower and then enjoy a piping hot cup of tea.

As I'm thinking about this it hits me... How blessed am I?!

Sometimes it is so darn easy to take the little day to day things in our lives for granted.

Lord, help me to always be mindful of all of the blessings you have given me.

my family

my friends

the children you've entrusted to my care

my home

our cars

this computer I type on

indoor plumbing (so thankful for this!!)

tea!!

the stove to heat my water

etc...

Even the smallest is a great gift from you!!

Help me to always remember, I'm too blessed to stress!!!!!

AMEN!

Billy Boy

To turn off music so you can listen, just look to the right hand column and scroll down until you see the pink music box. Click on the middle button and it will stop the music.

This is Billy singing (sort of, 'his song' Billy Boy)

Where have you been Billy Boy Billy Boy

Where have you been charming Billy

I have been to seek a wife

She's the joy of my life

But she's a young thing and can not leave her mother

One Year

It has been one year since my mother died.

I can't believe it has been a year.

Not really ready to write about it right now - so I'm posting an encore of my sister's eulogy to my mum. I love you Mum!!

Our mother, like most mothers, was a very special person. She was warm and loving and funny. You often hear people say how those that have passed will leave a hole or a void. The absence of my mother will leave an abyss. Or at least, that’s how it feels.Our mother was a big presence in our lives. For us, she was truly the tie that binds. Over the past few days, I’ve found myself wondering how we will carry on without her. I know, of course, that we will, but the idea of it seemed inconceivable.But as I thought about having to face life without my mother, without my best friend, I realized how, because of her, we will certainly get through this terrible time together.My mother taught us many things, as most parents do. But three things we learned from her are perhaps the most important lessons for dealing with life.Naturally, she, along with our father’s help, taught us right from wrong. Through her example, we not only learned the typical rights and wrongs, but we learned the right way to be a good friend, the right way to care about others and the right way to treat the people that are important to you. And she taught us that it is right that family takes care of family. More than once my mother told me what a great comfort it was to her that if ever any of her children were in trouble or in need that we could turn to any of the other 4 and we would be a help and support one another.Another thing we learned from our mother was to love one another and to do so openly. More than a few people have commented over the years how affectionate my family is to one another. We always great each other with hugs and kisses and do the same again when we part. Well – ok – maybe Eddie and Mark don’t hug and kiss each other – but there is certainly brotherly affection. When we speak to one another on the phone, conversations almost always end with “I love you”, and “I love you too”. We tell our children and our nieces and nephews all the time how much we love them and how special they are to us. Something we learned from our mother.The last of the three important lessons learned from Mom, was to laugh at life – even if it’s at your own expense – which, in her case, it often was. Mom loved a good laugh. All of the Rockwood family loves a good laugh and we are never together that we don’t laugh a great deal. We learned not to take ourselves so seriously that we couldn't laugh at ourselves – something my mother excelled at. In fact, if she did something funny and there was no one to witness it, she would'nt keep her goofs to herself – she’d tell everybody, which is funny in itself.So, as I think of these things, I realize, though the void is sizable and though the coming weeks, months and even times throughout the years will find us mourning our dearly loved mother, we will as a family, get through it together.We will stand by one another. We will love one another. And we will laugh together. And in doing so, we will keep our mother’s spirit with us always.I hope that some of you will learn from my mother, especially to tell the people you love that you love them – and tell them often. Not because life is precarious and you never know how much time you will have together. Not even because it’s what people who love one another should do. Tell them simply because you DO love them.I know that we will pass these lessons on to our own children and grandchildren: To stand by your family and love and support them; To tell them often how much you love them and to laugh at life – even if it’s at your own expense. Oh – and to never, ever tell a child you have eyes in the back of your head.

IKEA

I finally went to the furniture mecca that I've been told 'I Must!' go to.

I went... I walked... I walked... I walked....

You see, I learned that the English translation for the Swedish word Ikea is: labyrinth!

They get you in, but you can't find your way out!

Sure, there are blue signs hanging from the ceiling that say: 'Exit', but they are really just a trick. A mirage if you will, leading you a seemingly never ending journey through a see of very contemporary, brightly colored home stuffs. (I hate the word 'stuffs' by the way .. but it fits here)

I have never in my life felt claustrophobic before, but I did there in that 100 billion square foot store. We did the top floor (hubby and I) and it was pleasant enough; sofas, beds, children's rooms and toys. But then when we hit the bottom level and I decided there really wasn't anything of interest to me, I wanted to leave. But after running through the isles like a science lab rat, I began to panic. It was all I could do to not yell out "I'm not going to buy anything!! Even if you force me to see every single floral lampshade, florescent rug, busy comforter, odd shaped plate, and every lighting fixture known to man! Let me out! Let me out!!!!"

Finally, we followed our noses to the source of the smell of cinnamon buns and we escaped, I mean we left the establishment.

Ikea... Not going in again with out a GPS system and a bag of bread crumbs!

On the plus side: We were not bothered once by a sales person (but don't know how easy it would be to find one for help if I needed one), they have a child care drop off (I'm not recommending this as we didn't use it - has anyone tried it? interesting idea though!!), and I did see some items I'd like for my home child care at very reasonable prices.